I'm afraid of my Older Brother (true story)
Hello! Today Amy want to share with you her story about how hard it is to accept another person sometimes.
"I’m a typical home child. I’m the youngest child in a big family, the favorite of the parents, elder brother and other relatives. They pampered and adored me, fulfilled all my wishes. But, on the whole, it’s not important.
But, no matter how much we loved each other, the parents still had to work, and often lived without any kind of schedule at all – they were constantly at work. That’s why, I was raised by my elder brother.
Actually, he’s always been like that: a very responsible and serious do-gooder. So, our parents kept calm and let him babysit me. They knew that I would be fed, put to sleep and I would even do my homework (when I started school). Liam didn’t mind taking care about me. On the contrary, he tried to spend as much time with me as possible, even when the parents were free.
That’s a given. Liam solved all my minor childish problems. And only he knew how my hair should be braided and which shoes should be put on. Only my favorite elder brother (not my parents) was in charge of choosing clothes for me.
Naturally, he was the one to learn about my first love. And he helped. He almost always turned out to be close at the right moment to protect and save me.
When I was 14, gas exploded in our apartment. No one knows how and why this happened. The company paid insurance, and that was it. But it’s not about money!
Only my brother was at home. He suffered the most. No, fortunately, he didn’t die, but they barely managed to save him. A young man, 24 years old, became disabled at once – an explosion tore off his arm and almost completely burned his face. Well, the rest is the little things, consider it insignificant. Of course, both parents and doctors did their best, but...
His arm was replaced with an artificial arm, and he has to wear a wig – the burns all over his skull remained.
It seems that it’s great that he was saved. It’s better to be ugly, but alive, than six feet under. Yes, it’s true. But I’ve had a phobia since childhood. I don’t know where it came from and why, but I’m really scared of scars, blood and injuries. We have a neighbor with one leg, so I don’t leave the house if he smokes on the landing. And now there is my brother... at home…
Well, because I really love him, he is my dearest and closest person, even closer than my parents. But I just can’t do it. I just can’t look at him like that. I can’t pretend that everything is alright, because this is a physical reaction – I start shivering, I faint, panic attacks begin...
And it’s beyond words… It hurts so much to live like that. It’s good that our relatives and parents are understanding people. I would simply come apart, if they blamed me.
Every day I talk to my brother on the phone, we can chat for hours on WhatsApp, but we never use the camera. To be more precise, I turn it on, but he doesn’t. This is a real nightmare. I hear a native voice, but I can’t come close to him, hug him, show him love and support.
He fights for the ability to manage his artificial arm normally. I fight for the chance to be with my family again. And, unfortunately, he has a better progress than me. I go to trainings, I work with a psychologist, but there are no results.
You know, I would give anything to stop being afraid of my brother. But, unfortunately, I can’t.
I really need your support – leave your comments and say whether you had such situations and how you coped with them. I promise to try any reasonable way, because I really don’t know what to do".
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